Deeply Felt: Can I Have Three Minutes?
It's about time...
Before I get to this week’s Deeply Felt, I must say how grateful I am for your early support of this little word experiment. For those who subscribed and/or pledged actual American dollars should I enable a paid feature…I am humbled and inspired by your belief in me. Thank you.
Now, let’s feel some things, shall we?
My children have been at sleepaway camp for nearly two weeks; the quiet in my house is deeply felt. Sometimes it feels sublimely calming, and sometimes it brings about a deep longing for the cacophony of sound that two loud ass Gemini boys typically bring to our abode.
Leading up to their departure, I made grand plans about the things I would accomplish while I’m also on hiatus from work. And yes, I’ve marked a fair share of them off the list. But, I’ve also allowed myself to just experience time as it passes and not try to fill every moment with something “meaningful” or “productive.” Allowing these days to unfold as they will has reminded me that simply being is enough.
I think of this each morning when checking on my cucumber plants. Certified plant people, please forgive me here because I have neither a proper garden nor a particularly green thumb. But, I have allowed some tiny little seeds the time they need to try and become something bigger, marveling at the ability to watch, in real time, as the cucumbers take shape. I mean it when I tell you that I feel their transformation deeply. Is this why people garden? It is, isn’t it?
Let my cucumbers be an invitation for you to look at what might grow in your life if you just let it have some time.
A Few Things I’m Feeling
Book: Nearly Departed by Gila Pfeffer
This book falls right in line with the topic of time. Primarily, how does one get more of it when the odds of dying young are high? Pfeffer’s debut memoir is a moving, darkly funny treasure that recalls the lengths she went to in order to save her own life after losing too many family members to cancer. Gila has fought like hell for the life she has today, and I feel so deeply grateful she decided to share her story with all of us.
Film: Thelma by writer/director/editor, Josh Margolin.
Oh how I loved this film. Based on Margolin’s own beloved grandmother, Thelma Post (masterfully played by June Squibb), is the heroine we all need. After falling prey to a cruel scam, she decides to seek revenge—scooter and all. Time may not on her side, but tenacity is. Humorous, tear-jerking, and triumphant, I deeply felt every step of these characters’ journeys as they unfolded on screen. If you’ve ever shared a special bond with a grandparent, this movie cannot be missed.
Song: “I Still Do” by Maggie Rogers
My husband and I were fortunate enough to see Maggie Rogers perform for a taping of Austin City Limits TV. There aren’t many songs Maggie performs that don’t bring about full body chills, but when she got to “I Still Do” from her new album, Don’t Forget Me, even my eyelashes had goosebumps.
Performing solo with just her keyboard, as she does in this video, I wasn’t the only one who felt a soul stirring. While her band was coming back on stage, John and I could see Maggie off to the side, sort of clutching herself in an embrace and taking big, deep breaths. After a few moments she called to someone (presumably) directing the show and asked, “Can I have three minutes?”
Then she ran offstage.
Sure, perhaps it was a bathroom emergency; we’ve all been there. But, I think the more likely answer is that Maggie felt the weight of the words she wrote and sang in real time. She let the moment be what it was—emotional, overwhelming, painful, beautiful—and instead of faking her way through it, as we often do, she took the time she needed to move through the feelings.
She came back on stage to boisterous applause and finished her set, exquisite as ever. I think about this moment a lot. The specificity of her request. 3 minutes. Knowing the audience was watching and waiting. Knowing she was filming a TV show that is timed to the minute. Knowing she could probably push through. But also, knowing what she needed. Taking the time she needed.
Maybe you also need three minutes today. Maybe there’s something you need to feel your way through instead of pushing it aside? Here’s hoping you take the time you need, no matter who or what must wait for you.
I’m off to stare at the cucumbers.
Thank you for sharing this with all of us.
Love it. I will never think of 3 minutes the same way again.